Assistant Architect by Xi He Qing Ling

Chapter 169: Don’t Give Up

_____________________

Chapter 169: Don’t Give Up

Thinking about Gu Yu’s story, Zhang Siyi took a moment to ponder yesterday’s events. When talking to the tree, Lu Qiao directed his hostility towards Zhang Siyi. Even though Lu Qiao clearly was against homosexuality, he didn’t seem to hate Gu Yu, only Zhang Siyi. In the final analysis, it was because Gu Yu’s skills were vastly superior to Lu Qiao’s.

Zhang Siyi: “I thought he was a friend of mine.”

Gu Yu: “Perhaps before, when you were just starting at the company, you didn’t pose any threat to him, but now is not the same. He felt threatened by the rate at which you progressed because it was much greater than his own.”

Gu Yu’s words reminded Zhang Siyi of the mentality he had when Tai Fei first joined. It was quite similar. Having his position threatened by a new person, Zhang Siyi felt an inexplicable hostility towards Tao Fei. Once Zhang Siyi saw his skill and realized Tao Fei wasn’t recruited for the same level of work that Zhang Siyi was assigned to, his competitiveness disappeared.

Now that Zhang Siyi could related to Lu Qiao feelings, he didn’t feel as bothered by yesterday’s matter.

Gu Yu: “Mood swings vary from person to person. Some people are even keel, while others get upset over the tiniest infringement. When feelings become even more exaggerated, the person might act paranoid and think that others are looking down on them.

Zhang Siyi wanted to defend himself and eagerly exclaimed: “I never looked down on Lu Qiao!”

Gu Yu laughed: “I was just giving an example. You didn’t look down on Lu Qiao, but he came from a poor family with low self-esteem. Inevitably, his sensitivity towards other people’s comments is high and likely would blow them out of proportion. Do you remember the conversation you had with Tao Fei on the subway when we first arrived in Osaka?”

Zhang Siyi remembered. Tao Fei mentioned the fact that it was the first time Lu Qiao traveled by plane. “But it was Tao Fei fault for making him upset, not me. I tried to help!”

Gu Yu: “But Lu Qiao didn’t know this. What he saw was your close relationship with him. As a result, he placed you and Tao Fei into the same class of people.”

Zhang Siyi: “…” The source of the problem was in fact, the outspoken mouth of that Dead Fat Peach!

“It’s just that Lu Qiao found out we are together. Since he doesn’t agree with homosexuality, it gave him a reason to hate and discredit you.” Gu Yu turned his head to look at Zhang Siyi: “Luckily, he didn’t do anything about it, so no harm was done, right?”

Zhang Siyi is still fearful. If Lu Qiao spread the news around, he and Gu Yu would definitely have to leave the company.”

Gu Yu softly said: “Getting back to BB…… He hated me for the first year at university which I didn’t understand at the time. Later, I heard he fell ill and took a leave of absence from school.”

Zhang Siyi almost laughed out loud: “Really?”

There was no use gloating over it. Gu Yu sighed and said: “Two years ago, I went back to see a history of architecture professor whose class I was in. The professor was very kind. It was said that when BB was feeling depressed, he often visited the professor to chat. When I went back to visit, the professor had showed me a letter written by BB and in the body of the letter, BB had explained why he hated me.”

Zhang Siyi: “What was the reason?”

Gu Yu: “It was because of one day in art class, I had mocked him for his bad drawing.”

Zhang Siyi: “…” Shit! For that reason? What kind of grudge did he have!

Gu Yu shrugged: “I have forgotten what I said exactly. Maybe a little joke, but I don’t think I would have ridiculed him.”

Knowing Gu Yu, Zhang Siyi also thought he probably said something very sarcastic, but Gu Yu isn’t the type of person to act out of spite. Besides, what is the matter with a little sarcasm? If you can’t handle the stress from a little criticism, you will have bigger worries in life!

“After the incident, he treated me as his imaginary enemy and targeted me at every opportunity. Since he couldn’t beat me, he slowly pushed himself over the edge. When he dropped out of school, he returned home for treatment. As part of his recovery, he wrote a letter to the professor and even though it wasn’t directly to my face, he apologized to me in it. The professor thought I might have held a grudge for BB so the professor quietly showed me the letter in hopes I could let go.” Gu Yu paused. “In fact, I never let the things he did bother me……”

Zhang Siyi choked back a laugh. His admiration for Gu Yu was ever increasing. Making a vow in his heart, Zhang Siyi decided he must be like Gu Yu and let his inner strength prevail. Never let the demons in.

Drinking his milk, Gu Yu swallowed then continued: “Regardless, I was very grateful the professor showed me the letter. After reading it, I felt like I understood human nature better. Do you think BB was hateful? In actuality, he was rather pathetic.”

Zhang Siyi nodded. He knew that Gu Yu didn’t purposefully scorn BB, rather it was BB own phycological issues that caused his own despair.

Gu Yu: “Last night, when we heard Lu Qiao crying woefully at the tree, BB immediately came to mind. Perhaps in the same way, he felt desperate and his mental plight was at a precipice. A more effective way to help, was to approach him instead of letting him solve the problem by themselves.”

Now schooled, Zhang Siyi sighed with relief: “I’m not angry at Lu Qiao.” Once the anxiety in his heart was laid to rest, Zhang Siyi suddenly felt cheerful. The mood was instantly revived.

He looked up and chugged the remaining milk. Since there was no one around in the morning, Zhang Siyi mustered up his courage and quickly leaned over to kiss Gu Yu.

Gu Yu: “…”

Zhang Siyi giggled at the imprint of milk of his lips on Gu Yu’s face.

Gu Yu turned to gaze directly at Zhang Siyi eyes and used his finger to suggestively wipe the milk towards his mouth slowly. As his finger was close, he stretched out his tongue erotically and enveloped his finger by his mouth, thereby removing the milk.

Zhang Siyi: “………” Fuck! Too explicit!

Red-faced, in order to maintain his self-control, he took a few steps back away from Gu Yu, then turned around and quickened his pace.

Watching Zhang Siyi’s escape, Gu Yu thought to himself: “He dare tease me outside!” At the prospects of retaliation, Gu Yu smirked.

When they returned to the inn, many members of their group were mulling around the lobby, ready to go. In a rush, Zhang Siyi went back to his room to get his belongings for the day’s activities.

As Tao Fei was walking downstairs, he yawned and noticed Zhang Siyi coming upstairs. He reached out to mess with his hair: “Where did you two go last night?”

Zhang Siyi: “Ah?”

Tao Fei: “I didn’t see you guys last night. Did you come back to the room at all?”

Zhang Siyi: “When we came back, you were already asleep. This morning I woke up early before you did.” As he was telling Tao Fei, Zhang Siyi anxiety rose as he saw Lu Qiao’s figure behind Tao Fei’s.  

Tao Fei went to greet Gu Xiao and with slouching shoulders, Lu Qiao went straight to Zhang Siyi. Lu Qiao was tightly holding something unknown to him.

Zhang Siyi didn’t hide and tried to look as calm as possible.

Lu Qiao handed Zhang Siyi an orange bottle cap. Zhang Siyi looked down at it and felt moved. He looked up at Lu Qiao and put his hand onto Lu Qiao’s shoulder. Zhang Siyi smiled and said: “What do you think? Don’t give up!”

Lu Qiao grinned. Due to his lack of sleep, his eyes were a little red and swollen. Regardless, his bright attitude was a stark contrast to his earlier behavior. He smiled: “Will do.”

__________________________

Assistant Architect by Xi He Qing Ling

Chapter 168: Doctrine

___________________

Lu Qiao took the cap from Gu Yu’s hand. When he raised his eyes, he saw Gu Yu’s long eyelashes, straight nose, and chiseled jawline and thought that his beautiful features matched his generous and tolerant personality.  Under the influence of Gu Yu’s charm, Lu Qiao slowly calmed down and surrendered his fears.

….. What about being gay?  But you can’t ignore the fact that Gu Yu is an excellent boss and looks out for his subordinates…… And what about Zhang Siyi? Maybe they are the same…

Like he had been living in a dark fog all along, Lu Qiao suddenly felt a ray of brightness pierce his doubt. As a myriad of light beams shined through, the heavy fog was lifted from his heart.

Zhang Siyi had been waiting upstairs for half about an hour before Gu Yu and Lu Qiao came back. Face to face, both Lu Qiao and Zhang Siyi felt embarrassed.

Gu Yu abrupt question mitigated any awkwardness: “Where is Tao Fei?”

Zhang Siyi pointed inside the room and softly said: “He was already asleep when I came back. Since he was snoring, he probably drank too much.”

Gu Yu looked inside briefly and saw a disheveled Tao Fei sprawled out in the middle of the room with his mouth wide open.

Fortunately, the room is very large and has plenty of space for them to layout the futons. However, how will they arrange their positions when there is a homophobic person in the room? Will Zhang Siyi sleep next to Gu Yu or do they sleep separately on either side of Tao Fei?

While Zhang Siyi was contemplating their sleeping arrangements, Lu Qiao had already made the decision for him as he laid out his futon a little bit away from Tao Fei, leaving the other half of the room for both Gu Yu and Zhang Siyi to occupy.

After unfolding the futon and forgoing a shower, Lu Qiao wrapped himself up under the covers and brought his knees up into a ball.

Zhang Siyi felt a little embarrassed and quietly followed Gu Yu to the bathroom and asked, “What did you talk about?”

Squeezing a blob of toothpaste out of the tube and putting it onto his toothbrush, Gu Yu said: “It’s too late now. I’ll tell you tomorrow.”

Depressed, Zhang Siyi brushed his teeth quietly. Because of Lu Qiao, his good mood was gone! So annoying!

After they finished washing, they went to layout their futons. Although they were side by side, they dare not do anything in Lu Qiao presence.

Zhang Siyi had a dreamless night. When he woke up the next day, he noticed Tao Fei and Lu Qiao still asleep on the other side of the room, but Gu Yu’s futon was neatly folded away.

In order to find out where he was, Zhang Siyi got out of bed and called Gu Yu. He was out for a morning run. In haste, Zhang Siyi left the inn and went to look for him. He was a few hundred meters away from the inn.

When Zhang Siyi spotted Gu Yu in the distance, he was walking calmly with a towel around his neck. It seems, Gu Yu had completed his run already.

Zhang Siyi jogged a few hundred meters to meet him. When he caught up to Gu Yu, he grasped both knees, panting.

Gu Yu grabbed the towel and wiped the fine sweat from Zhang Siyi face then asked: “Why are you up so early? Can’t sleep?”

Zhang Siyi: “What about you? How can you go missing so early in the morning!”

Being that there was a treadmill at home, Zhang Siyi was very aware of Gu Yu’s exercise routine. Every morning and evening, Gu Yu spent twenty to thirty minutes using the machine. Even though they were away from home touring Japan, Zhang Siyi felt that they have been getting enough exercise because they were walking around all day, every day. He did not understand why Gu Yu felt the need to exercise even more.

Gu Yu gazed at him and provocatively said: “I needed an outlet for excess energy.” His suggestive demeanor let Zhang Siyi grasp the situation. Staring into his eyes, Gu Yu squinted at him: “It’s like I have a disease.”

Yes. Recently, Gu Yu felt like his impulse to express his love for Zhang Siyi grew every day. Like this morning when he woke up. He opened his eyes to the site of Zhang Siyi sleeping close to him wrapped in his arms. Unknowingly, during the night they had cuddled together.

Simply by watching Zhang Siyi’s sleeping face, the desire he felt was overwhelming. His raging hardon demanded attention. He wanted to ravish him. If he hadn’t left to vent some energy, Gu Yu was afraid he would continue to make overly affectionate actions towards Zhang Siyi. Even more terrifying, these behaviors were completely unconscious.

As Tao Fei said, the atmosphere of love between them was too strong.

The conversation with Lu Qiao last night made Gu Yu reflect on his recent actions. Before, he indulged himself with love and wasn’t paying attention to any consequences. Lu Qiao reminded him that he and Zhang Siyi weren’t the only two people in the world and with so many eyes watching him, he must restrain himself.

At seven o’clock in the morning, it was early. On the way back to the inn, Gu Yu bought two bottles of hot milk from the roadside stall. Walking side by side, the two of them drank the milk while chatting about the matter between Lu Qiao and them.

Zhang Siyi: “So he hates me just because we’re gay?”

Gu Yu: “No, the key element is that he thinks you are better than him.”

Zhang Siyi wondered: “I don’t think I’m all that great. There are so many other people out there who are better than me so why is his hatred directed at me?”

Gu Yu smiled and said: “Let me tell you a story.”

Zhang Siyi: “What kind of story?”

Gu Yu: “It’s not a good memory. At the time I was entering university, I had a classmate. I won’t say his name so, let’s call him BB.”

….Ah! a story of Gu Yu personal experience….  Zhang Siyi immediately listened attentively.

Gu Yu continued: “Although BB family conditions were better, similar to Lu Qiao, BB was also from a small town. Since he was the only one from his town admitted to Big T, he had quite a large ego. At school, he didn’t have many friends. Even though I was popular at school, every time he saw me, there was hostility written all over his face. The situation once puzzled me because I don’t know what I did to cause him to hate me so much. I only understood that he was a very arrogant person.”

Zhang Siyi anxiously asked: “Did he do anything to hurt you?”

Gu Yu shook his head: “Nothing directed at me personally, but behind my back he often slandered me.”

Clenching his fist, Zhang Siyi angrily said: “That kind of person is so annoying ah!”

Gu Yu smiled: “Since I never cared about what he said, his words had no effect.”

Wide eyed, Zhang Siyi stared: “But he denigrated you behind your back! Didn’t you hate him?”

Gu Yu: “My classmates and teachers all know what kind of person I am. His slandering never influenced others. Besides, it takes a lot of effort to actually hate someone. Since I was always busy with my school work, I didn’t have the energy to deal with him. It was just too much of a bother.”

Zhang Siyi: “…”

Gu Yu: “Let me explain something…… In fact, there are quite a few people who act like BB did. At least, when a person can put his feelings on his face, it isn’t so scary. More concerning, are those people who hide knives behind their friendly smiles.”

Zhang Siyi felt a shiver go down his back. He asked: “Do you know why he was like that?”

Gu Yu: “I was also very puzzled about it. It wasn’t until later when I talked to my classmate, a senior sister, that I started to understand. She told me that being ‘too good’ is also ‘bad’ because people are competitive animals. Engrained in our DNA is survival and the most fit live. When one person is better than another by a small margin, their prehistoric instincts takes over and the two would clash.”

Zhang Siyi frowned slightly: “What should I do?”

Gu Yu: “I’ll summarize two ways to resolve this contradiction. First, let oneself become stronger. When you become greater than someone else by a larger degree, then the sense of competition is lost. Second, The Doctrine of the Mean ** in Chinese thought: One can avoid excessive injury when one remains low-key.

_________________

T/N: Doctrine of the Mean: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doctrine_of_the_Mean

_________________

Assistant Architect by Xi He Qing Ling

Chapter 167: Talk

_________________

Gu Yu asked: “Do you hate Zhang Siyi?”

Red from embarrassment, Lu Qiao shook his head.

Gu Yu: “Do you hate me?”

Faster this time, Lu Qiao shook his head again.

Bowing his head, Gu Yu asked: “Do you hate homosexuality?”

This time, Lu Qiao hesitated and was quiet for a long time. He lowered his head and eventually admitted: “I don’t know.”

Having asked his questions, Gu Yu could guess why Lu Qiao was in his current state.

Lu Qiao was born in the countryside in a part of the country that was relatively isolated. Traditional values are deeply rooted and it is difficult to change and accept new ideas. Therefore, he is likely a homophobe.

If everyone was simply joking then Lu Qiao may be able to brush it aside and not care. However, once the truth was out, he became afraid because the two people that had greater ability and talent than he did were homosexual. He wasn’t able to accept the fact that he was less than someone not ‘normal’ as it went against his upbringing and thus, Lu Qiao slowly arrived at a breaking point.

Of course, there is no denying that there is an indisputable catalyst for Lu Qiao’s reaction.

Gu Yu: “You envy Zhang Siyi, right?”

Lu Qiao lowered his head even further. He paused for a few seconds before emitting a low: “Hmm.”

Yes. Lu Qiao was originally very envious. The two most revered people at work have become the most hated homosexuals. As if falling in love with the same gender was plagiarism, they became metaphors for all that wasn’t authentic.

Upon his discovery, Lu Qiao views on life were turned upside down. It’s not so much that narrow-mindedness was detestable, but rather, it was pathetic and sad.

“There are a few things related to Zhang Siyi that I would like to tell you.” Gu Yu slowly said. “Although Zhang Siyi’s father is an official, as far as I know, he had neither influence on Zhang Siyi’s job nor his current life. Zhang Siyi is completely self-sufficient. When he was new, I gave him the same training as other new employees. The period was probably a little longer than others. At the end of last year, I let him work with you on the office building for the C-City project. At that time, I gave you the same competitive opportunity. The final plan was chosen by Party A. The complete construction drawing was also completed by Zhang Siyi alone. Since the office building wasn’t built, Zhang Siyi’s self-esteem was greatly affected. In fact, his progress for the first half of the year was rather rocky. It wasn’t until now, when he worked together with Tao Fei on the hotel project that he has been successful. I can say with certainty that Zhang Siyi’s current achievements are solely based on his own efforts. I did not give him any preferential treatment.”

Lu Qiao remained silent for a long time. The truth behind Gu Yu words did little to ease his extreme emotions and psychological imbalance. While using a tree to vent his frustrations, he was mistakenly overheard. Now, he was too ashamed and didn’t know what to say.

Gu Yu added: “Everyone went through the same thing in the beginning as you have. You earned your position by your own ability and retained it through your diligent work ethics and ease with which you accept any work without complaint. Although I relied on you to work on many small projects and thus, haven’t made any special achievements on your own, you have to remember that our group is a team. Teamwork is like a precision instrument. A small unassuming screw is just as important as all the other parts…. So, don’t be self-defeating and assume you aren’t good enough for your job.”

Lu Qiao’s tears poured out again and sobbed uncontrollably. The inferiority and embarrassment that had lasted for several days gradually disappeared under the encouragement and recognition of Gu Yu.

Gu Yu: “Let me tell you. In fact, from the first day of your job, I knew that your family situation was difficult. As a result, I raised your wage buy 800 yuan. That is to say your salary is actually higher than Zhang Siyi’s.”

Lu Qiao stayed still with his mouth slightly open. He can’t believe it.

Gu Yu: “As far as, “no-one-cares-about-you”, I think that is even more impossible. If no one cared, would I tell you so much? If you have concerns, find someone to talk to. Don’t back yourself into a corner.”

Lu Qiao wiped his eyes and nodded with shame. If he had been told earlier, he wouldn’t have done such a stupid thing like a fool…… Now that Zhang Siyi has heard his thoughts, wouldn’t he be very angry at him?

 Gu Yu smiled and said: “Even so, I have to thank you. While you knew the relationship between Zhang Siyi and I, you told a tree hole only and didn’t do anything to hurt us.”

Lu Qiao: “…”

Gu Yu: “It is indeed wrong for me to be in a relationship with Zhang Siyi for I have violated the company rules. I shouldn’t have feelings for one of my subordinates. I am sorry that my behavior at the company has given you a feeling of injustice, but I will not apologize for being gay. Homosexuality isn’t wrong. It is just a minority. If you feel that my private life has negatively affected work, then I will choose to resign and leave Borderless. Zhang Siyi didn’t do anything wrong. I was the one that pursued and seduced him. I hope you don’t think any less of Zhang Siyi because of it”

When he heard Gu Yu say ‘resign’ Lu Qiao started to panic, but when he admitted to seducing Zhang Siyi, Lu Qiao was in shock. In a rush to respond, he said: ”No, No…. There is no need to resign. I will keep the information to myself. I, I…. need time to accept it.”

Since he is an excellent boss, many people in the company like Gu Yu. If he can’t accept the facts and Gu Yu leaves the company, wouldn’t he be seen as the offender that drove Gu Yu away?

Knowing that he wasn’t treated unfairly, Lu Qiao felt relieved by Gu Yu’s forthright explanation.

Gu Yu glanced at him and gently said: “If there any more grievances or issues you want to convey, please tell me. If you have questions, now is the time. I will not be angry.”

Hesitating, he wanted to ask Gu Yu why he liked Zhang Siyi but thought better of it. The image of his Boss that he had in his mind was restored a little. He was afraid that if he didn’t like the answer to his question, he couldn’t bear it and the slightly restored image he had of his boss would be shattered irrevocably.

Lu Qiao shook his head: “No thank you Boss.”

Gu Yu stood up and said: “Then go back to the room and get some sleep.”

As Lu Qiao stood up to go inside, he was worried that his thoughts weren’t expressed sufficiently enough. Eager to clarify himself, he said: “Boss, there is no need to resign. I will think it over and figure it out myself.”

Gu Yu smiled: “Okay.”

Lu Qiao bowed his head: “I’m sorry.”

“You aren’t sorry for me, so don’t apologize.” From his pocket, Gu Yu removed a bottle cap. Today, Zhang Siyi bought him an orange flavored soda. On the caps, various expressions were printed on them in Kanji such as “I Like You”, “Work Hard”, and “Go For it”. This bottle cap had the “I’m Sorry” printed on it.

Gu Yu handed the bottle cap to Lu Qiao: “When you are ready to apologize, give this to Zhang Siyi.”

________________________