Assistant Architect by Xi He Qing Ling
Chapter 172: Moderation
After several month of contact with Gu Yu, Zhang Siyi realized just how large a gap there was between them. Not only was Gu Yu’s endurance greater than Zhang Siyi’s, in the short amount of time that they were together, his kissing skills rapidly progressed. In addition, Gu Yu was well versed with Zhang Siyi’s sensitive areas and phycological boundaries. He knew just what to do to tease and tantalize Zhang Siyi. Gu Yu’s methods made it seem like he was an experienced driver for many years.
If Zhang Siyi wasn’t seriously thinking about it, he might have forgotten the fact that Gu Yu was a virgin without any practical experience. Will he ever get the chance to tease Gu Yu about something other than singing and playing Era of Music? (=_=)
Gu Yu’s preparations were quite comprehensive and their purposes were obviously understood. However, there was one thing Zhang Siyi didn’t quite understand. Isn’t that the gourd he bought for Gu Yu? Watching Gu Yu put a condom on the gourd then squirt a dab of lubricating gel on it, Zhang Siyi heart started to race in panic. He had a bad feeling…..
Sure enough, Gu Yu patted the pillow and said: “Come here, lie down and lift your legs. I’m going to use the gourd.”
“Wait, what!?” Oh my god! Why doesn’t he use his finger? Does Gu Yu like sex toys? But it’s a gourd!
Gu Yu: “You are too tight. If I penetrate you now, you will get hurt.”
“But…” Zhang Siyi was a little resistant.
Gu Yu kissed him and said in a soft reassuring voice: “Don’t be afraid. It is to make sure you are comfortable.”
In a bit of shock, Zhang Siyi brain was fuzzy and he felt like he was being hypnotized. Out of trust for his lover, he submitted. Zhang Siyi understood just how gentle and considerate Gu Yu was of his feelings. If Gu Yu said it was for his benefit, then it would certainly be good, right?
Due to Gu Yu’s careful treatment in Zhang Siyi’s delicate rear, his back hole was no longer taut and closed. Even so, Gu Yu used a lot of lubricating gel and made his entire buttocks slippery. When Gu Yu spread the gel around his opening, Zhang Siyi unconsciously moaned.
Blushing, Zhang Siyi felt ashamed, but what made him even more ashamed was Gu Yu’s next move.
At first, Zhang Siyi felt the pressure of the gourd covered with a condom against his opening. Then, with a gentle push, it slowly slid inside.
“Relax, imagine the feeling of defecation, a little harder…”
Taking advantage of Zhang Siyi’s enlarged sphincter, Gu Yu pushed the gourd smoothly into Zhang Siyi bottom until it was half way inside.
A burning sensation could be felt in the moment of penetration and Zhang Siyi cried out: “Ah!” Instinctively, he clenched his ass and as a result, the gourd was stuck half way. For the moment, it didn’t feel painful since the gourd wasn’t as wide at his rear entrance as compared to the portion inside of him.
Even so, the sensation of the gourd inside wasn’t like a finger. It was very uncomfortable and he wanted it out. Zhang Siyi lifted his head to peer down. Like an animal laying an egg, Zhang Siyi saw only half the gourd sticking out of his body. It was both erotic and funny.
Gu Yu also found it funny. Wet squelching noises could be heard as he used his fingers to wiggle the gourd.
Zhang Siyi: “…” (o/////o)
Blushing, Zhang Siyi used his foot to push Gu Yu: “Go away!” Zhang Siyi tried to escape.
Gu Yu firmly grabbed his ankle with one hand and pulled him back and with the other hand, he reached for the gourd and turned it. The gourd smoothly rotated and applied pressure to the interior tissues. Involuntarily, Zhang Siyi moaned erotically.
“What do you feel?” Gu Yu asked with a mischievous grin.
Without expression, Zhang Siyi flatly replied: “It’s uncomfortable. Take it out.” Zhang Siyi felt like he had been thoroughly toyed with…… with a gourd no less!
Having heard Zhang Siyi elicit a moan of pleasure, Gu Yu continued to tease him. Grasping the gourd, he quickly turned it right and left.
Even though there was some pain at the mouth of his hole, the gourd continued to rub against his prostate. Collapsing on the soft bed, Zhang Siyi let out a series of erotic moans: “Aah, aah, aah…”
“Tell me the truth.” Gu Yu grinned.
Turning bright red, Zhang Siyi surrendered: “It…. feels… good. Aah, aah, aah……..”
For Twenty minutes, Zhang Siyi enjoyed the sensations from Gu Yu’s loving touch and his passionate kisses. All the while, Gu Yu continued to tantalize him through his bottom with the gourd.
When Zhang Siyi’s moaning became louder and more frequent, reading Zhang Siyi reactions like a book, Gu Yu pulled out the gourd. Zhang Siyi’s climax was near.
When the gourd was removed, Zhang Siyi let out a loud, heavy moaning cry. This time, it was not because of pain, but because of disappointment.
Now empty, the pleasure accumulated there by the stimulation of the gourd was halted. Zhang Siyi was desperate to fill that area again.
Gu Yu let Zhang Siyi turn over onto his knees. Pressing his shoulders down and raising his hips, Gu Yu reached for his ass and pulled him close. Everything was ready.
Zhang Siyi thought the posture was very shameful. Especially after Gu Yu pushed his shoulders down and lifted his hips. It made him feel like a female beast in heat. However, men are animals that constantly think about their lower body. Indulging in lust, Zhang Siyi long abandoned his integrity. Instead, he was very excited for Gu Yu to fill him up. -Surely, Gu Yu would feel better then fingers and gourds, right?
In order to prepare Zhang Siyi psychologically, Gu Yu took a moment to rub his hard rod between Zhang Siyi’s butt cheeks. He didn’t expect the urgency and seduction with which Zhang Siyi demonstrated by twerking. Muffling a chuckle, Gu Yu smiled and held Zhang Siyi’s hips steady. Gu Yu began to penetrate him slowly.
As Zhang Siyi was deeply filled, he sighed in gratification. In comparison to Gu Yu’s finger and the gourd, it was a different feeling. Pulsating with heat, Gu Yu was thicker, longer, and deeper. Although penetration was a little painful, Zhang Siyi experienced an unprecedented sense of satisfaction.
Clearly feeling the warmth and contours of each other’s body parts, they were connected, not only physically, but by their souls.
Gu Yu also felt that way. When Zhang Siyi’s hot inner walls enveloped his hard shaft, he forgot to breath. An unmatched sense of warmth welled up inside of him full of love for Zhang Siyi.
After thoroughly entering, the two men sighed in relief at the same time. Pinned by Gu Yu’s hot organ, Zhang Siyi dare mot move. In order to make sure Zhang Siyi wasn’t in any pain, Gu Yu remained motionless. In a soft voice, he asked Zhang Siyi if there was any discomfort.
Zhang Siyi was more impatient than he was worried: “It’s not hurting. It feels good.”
Gu Yu smiled and said: “Then I’m starting.” Finally, he no longer had to endure and slowly moved his hips rhythmically.
Feeling as though the disruption in his climax was long enough, Zhang Siyi couldn’t wait anymore. He twisted around and demanded: “If you are a man, then fuck me. I’ll give you a friendly tip, hurry it up!”
“Aah… aah…. haa… haa…ah, ah, Ah, AH!” After the first few thrusts, Gu Yu suddenly increased the speed.
Zhang Siyi was hit by a wave of intense pleasure. Although exciting, he felt overwhelmed: “Ah, ah… too deep… ah, ah…. slow… go slow…”
“Fast or slow, what do you want?” Gu Yu narrowed his eyes and chuckled. As he continued thrusting hard into Zhang Siyi, he made slapping sounds against Zhang Siyi ass. Each time, Gu Yu slammed into Zhang Siyi sensitive point inside, he elicited erotic grunts. Lost in lust, pure instinct took over. No longer paying attention to Zhang Siyi wishes, Gu Yu thrusted harder and faster.
“Ah… No, I can’t… Ah! Stop… Ah!” Zhang Siyi couldn’t stand it and tried to move forwards a little bit, but Gu Yu grabbed his waist immediately, preventing his escape. As he pulled Zhang Siyi backwards, he thrusted forwards, penetrating him even deeper!
Caught between pleasure and pain, Zhang Siyi’s sensitive point was forcibly rammed. Completely exhausted, his erotic grunts turned into cries.
Zhang Siyi wondered why Gu Yu suddenly changed. Clearly, a few minutes ago, his gentle rhythm was frustratingly slow, but now, although the pleasure building from his prostate being prodded was good…..
“Uh… ah, ah, mn…..” Fuck! Is Gu Yu’s waist equipped with a motor? With such rapid thrusting, Gu Yu quickly reached his climax.
Gu Yu pulled out of Zhang Siyi’s body and gently turned him over. Just when Zhang Siyi thought he could slow down and find his release, he saw Gu Yu’s erection. Not giving Zhang Siyi a moments rest, while watching Zhang Siyi’s face, Gu Yu raised Zhang Siyi’s leg and entered him again.
Exhausted, Zhang Siyi issued a long moan. His thought processes couldn’t keep up with current events. Wait… What? How? Shouldn’t there be a break? With eyes full of desire, Gu Yu stared at him fervidly and began a new round of thrusting.
“Aah… um… aah, aah!” Animal! I’m not a thing! Can’t you be fucking gentle! (╯t皿t)╯︵┻━┻
Zhang Siyi eyes were red and his sensitive hole had become numb and sore. On his abdominals, some transparent mucus had flowed out of his hard organ. His need has become unbearable, but Gu Yu only cared about himself and didn’t touch Zhang Siyi.
Even with prolonged stimulation from behind, Zhang Siyi wasn’t able to reach his climax. As a man, he also wants attention on his hot, throbbing piece.
Feeling both plaintive and resentful, Zhang Siyi felt like he was left hung out to dry. Involuntarily, trying to finish through self-sufficiency, he lifted his hand in desperation. However, watching Zhang Siyi’s movements, Gu Yu easily slapped his hand away.
“No… let… me…. touch….” Incoherent, with unspoken calls for help, Zhang Siyi also thrusted his hips.
Continuing his ramming, Gu Yu commanded in a low sensuous voice: “Call me Gege.”
With nothing but the need to climax filling his mind, Zhang Siyi was without reason. He eagerly shouted: “Gege…. Gege!”
Without stopping his own vigorous hip movements, Gu Yu reached out to help Zhang Siyi. He has been on the verge of an orgasm for some time. It only took the briefest of Gu Yu’s caresses before Zhang Siyi felt the wave of euphoric pleasure overtake his senses. As he finally found his release, his whole body trembled.
Zhang Siyi’s strong spasm gave Gu Yu the ultimate feeling of pleasure as he also followed suit with an orgasm.
Once again, tears of passion flowed freely from Zhang Siyi swollen eyes. Although he was upset at being bullied, when he turned to look at Gu Yu, his happy and satisfied expression made Zhang Siyi feel accomplished.
Panting, Gu Yu remained inside Zhang Siyi. He leaned down and embraced Zhang Siyi’s still trembling body closely.
“Are you okay?” Gu Yu whispered.
“I’m good….” Zhang Siyi responded in a hoarse voice.
Gu Yu smiled and thought to himself, heh, this so-called straight man, born to be mine only.
Playing with his soft and sagging body part, Gu Yu said: “You’re still too fast, you cum as soon as it’s rubbed. You have no self-control. It looks like for the next time; I’ll have to make you endure it longer.”
“…..Bastard!!!” Blushing, Zhang Siyi scolded him.
Gu Yu raised his eyebrows and pushed into Zhang Siyi’s body, causing Zhang Siyi to grunt.
Zhang Siyi regained his rationality and recalled his enthusiastic moans and cries. He was so embarrassed, he felt like dying. Trying to separate from Gu Yu, he wriggled his body and said: “Hey, get out…”
Enveloped by Zhang Siyi warmth, when he tried to shimmy away, Gu Yu’s body naturally responded. Becoming hard once again, he said: “Don’t move around. Move again, and we will go for round three.” Gu Yu thrusted and pinched his waist threateningly to make his point clear.
Alarmed, Zhang Siyi turned pale. There was no way he could handle another round as he was now swollen and sore. He dares not move again. Before retreating, they lay together for some time. Gu Yu leaned over and kissed him tenderly
Together they washed in the shower. In order to help clean Zhang Siyi thoroughly, Gu Yu inserted a finger: “It’s much softer now. My finger easily slid all the way in.”
Zhang Siyi was so angry, he snapped: “Your big dick was inside for so long, of course it is soft!! Really!? Is that all you think about? My ass is still hurting!”
Gu Yu: “……….” This little demon. Does he not know how provocative his words are?
Trying to be gentle, Gu Yu moved his finger around to help make sure the inside was clean. Unconsciously, while trembling in Gu Yu’s arms, Zhang Siyi voiced a few erotic sounds.
Utterly enticed, Gu Yu couldn’t help it. He picked up Zhang Siyi, pressed him against the bathroom wall, and inserted his now throbbing manhood.
Incredulous, Zhang Siyi gasped. “You…!!” Wide-eyed, he stared at Gu Yu.
“Sorry, you are so seductive, I can’t help it.” Standing up, Gu Yu held Zhang Siyi’s ass and enthusiastically rammed him. Soon, only vague gasps and erotic cries emanated from the bathroom.
That night, Zhang Siyi practically fainted. He went to sleep feeling exhausted. The next morning, groggy from waking up, he was confused momentarily. Even though his legs were apart, he could feel something between them… yes, he was woken up.
He’s crazy. Is Gu Yu possessed by a demon? From last night until now, it was the fourth time and his ass was dying as a result. Doesn’t Gu Yu’s dick hurt? Gu Yu used to abstain and be so considerate. What happened!?
Perhaps it was precisely because of the multiple times yesterday, this morning Gu Yu was exceptionally slow and patiently slid himself in and out of Zhang Siyi’s body and thus, Zhang Siyi was slowly tormented.
Whenever Zhang Siyi wanted to resist, Gu Yu kissed him gently and continued to coax him until he submitted. This time, he really will be traumatized! Zhang Siyi decided he was better off sleeping in his own room for at least a month! However, on the day he decided, Gu Yao came.
Recently graduated, Gu Yao found an internship with a company nearby in Haicheng. In order to save money, she consulted with her brother about living at his apartment for an extended period of time.
Zhang Siyi vaguely remembered during a busy time after returning from Japan, Gu Yu mentioning his sister potentially living with them during dinner. Since his sister knew the true nature of their relationship, despite their nightly activities, he didn’t think much about it and left the issue up for Gu Yu to decide.
Coincidentally, she arrived at a time when Zhang Siyi wanted to hide! Fearing every night, he reluctantly moved into Gu Yu’s room.
It is not that Zhang Siyi disliked the intimacy, in fact he desired it. However, the change in Gu Yu was too quick and thus, Zhang Siyi was caught off guard. He didn’t know how to adapt.
Since that night, Gu Yu tasted Zhang Siyi every night. As the saying goes, ‘too much of a good thing’…… Several times, he wanted to refuse, but Gu Yu always said something like, ‘just a kiss’, or ‘just a hug’ and trusting his lover, Zhang Siyi would easily heed Gu Yu’s request. At the beginning, Gu Yu would keep his promise, but now, Gu Yu was basically saying it to deceive him.
Feeling so loved by the man he desired, while Gu Yu focused his attention on him tenderly, it wasn’t like Zhang Siyi could do nothing. Inevitably, Zhang Siyi returned his feelings and once he initiated any of the slightest amount of interest, Zhang Siyi was pushed down onto the bed.
Night after night, even when his sister was next door, Gu Yu didn’t have any restraint. Ultimately, since Zhang Siyi didn’t dislike it, he willingly accepted Gu Yu’s advances. However, it was Zhang Siyi who had to endure and refrain from crying out. Does Gu Yu not know how hard it was for him to stay quiet?
Last night, Zhang Siyi was stimulated for so long that he couldn’t prevent himself from crying out. While there were some nights Gu Yu forced Zhang Siyi to cry out husband, there were other times when Zhang Siyi was forced to call him gege. Remembering the details of each night made Zhang Siyi feel so ashamed, he could die.
Unlike his previous energetic self, now Zhang Siyi has to take a nap during lunch time at work, otherwise he would faint from exhaustion in the afternoon. He even complained to Gu Yu about his back hurting, but Gu Yu didn’t take him seriously and sent him ‘pocket money’ instead.
The first time it happened, Zhang Siyi felt stupidly happy because he received a thousand dollars! Once he calmed down, Zhang Siyi wanted to smack himself – How could he left himself fall to this point!?
One day in August, while walking home together, Gu Yu and Zhang Siyi got a message from Gu Yao. She had called to tell her brother that she had overtime work and would be coming home late so they shouldn’t wait for her to eat dinner.
Haicheng’s summer was very hot and humid and today was an unusually hot day. Even though the day was spent in an airconditioned office, Zhang Siyi felt sweaty simply from the short walk from the subway station to his house. Since he couldn’t stand the uncomfortable sticky feeling from sweating all over, once Inside, he rushed upstairs to take a shower.
Because the weather was so hot, even Gu Yu was too lazy to cook. Instead, he decided to order cold noodles and had it delivered. Since the AC was near the sofa, he brought the food to the coffee table and sat down comfortably in the living room.
By the time Zhang Siyi finished with his shower, he saw the food laid out on the coffee table. With wet hair and the pleasant scent of shower gel wafting from his skin, like a hungry locust ready to devour, Zhang Siyi walked quickly to the table solely thinking about filling his empty stomach.
Gu Yu was watching him intently. Before Zhang Siyi could reach his destination, Gu Yu grabbed his wrist, pulled him to the sofa, and pressed his hardness against him, indicating his need.
The speed with which Gu Yu made his advance astonished Zhang Siyi. One second, he was looking forward to eating, and in the next, he was trapped under Gu Yu. He was in a state of disarray. To top it off, Gu Yao had come back early!
As Gu Yao entered the door, she greeted the dog. Hearing strange sounds, she looked in the direction of the source – Zhang Siyi’s bare legs were wrapped around Gu Yu’s waist, and between them was a fully clothed Gu Yu, except for his pants slightly pulled down.……
Both of them looked at Gu Yao with embarrassment and had no time to react.
Seeing the scene on the sofa, Gu Yao yelped. Instantly covering her face, she ran upstairs and said: “I’m sorry.”
Afterwards, Zhang Siyi just wanted to bury himself in the ground. Mortified, he couldn’t face her and in WeChat, he told her: “I’m sorry.” That’s right, the person who should apologize was Zhang Siyi. He felt guilty letting a newly graduated sister see such an erotic scene……
Unexpectedly, Gu Yao replied: “It’s nothing, I’m used to it.” And followed up with: ”It was my fault since I didn’t call ahead of time. I am the one who had moved in and invaded your private space.”
Zhang Siyi wondered: “Wait, what do you mean by being used to it?”
Gu Yao: “Well, because you do it every night next door and I can hear you crying out……” (&_&)
Zhang Siyi: “…” Ah! (╯‵□’)╯(┻━┻
In the face of further embarrassment, Zhang Siyi made up his mind to formally protest to Gu Yu! The next night before going to bed, Zhang Siyi sat down with his legs crossed: “Yu, I want to talk to you about the way of adult men to adult men.”
Zhang Siyi seldom called him by his given name. He is used to calling him, Gu Yu or Boss, and sometimes Gu Yu has asked Zhang Siyi to call him gege. Since he felt too ashamed of the latter, he wasn’t willing so he had only said it a few times when Gu Yu forced him in bed.
Amused by his proper tone and hilarious phrasing, Gu Yu couldn’t help but sit next to him and kiss him: “What do you want to talk about?”
Putting his hands on Gu Yu’s chest, Zhang Siyi immediately pushed him away: “I’m serious. Let’s talk.”
Gu Yu smiled at him: “About…..?”
With a stern expression and exacting tone, Zhang Siyi said: “I don’t think we can go on like this anymore.”
Gu Yu expression finally changed. He frowned: “What is wrong with our relationship?”
Zhang Siyi: “Don’t you think you’ve done too much lately?”
Gu Yu was puzzled: “What have I done? What do you mean?”
Zhang Siyi’s face slowly reddened: “Don’t pretend to be stupid! I am talking about sex!”
Gu Yu visibly relaxed: “What’s the problem?”
Feeling irritated over Gu Yu laissez-faire attitude, he demanded: “I’m serious! I think we have to be a little more restrained!”
Gu Yu sighed: “Let me ask you….. Do you like or dislike doing it with me?”
Zhang Siyi: “……. Like.”
Laughing, Gu Yu reached out to rub Zhang Siyi’s head: “That’s not a problem. Fool, we are still young. What is wrong with wanting to do it?”
Zhang Siyi blushed: “But I think it’s too much. It is a little uncomfortable.”
Gu Yu: “I can’t tell when you are hurt. If you aren’t feeling well, you should have an uncomfortable performance, but you never really refused me.”
Zhang Siyi explained: “Because I like you, I can’t bear to refuse you…”
Pausing a moment, Gu Yu tilted his head: “You mean, you gave me the wrong idea and let me think that you wanted me?”
Listening to Gu Yu’s smooth voice, Zhang Siyi automatically nodded at him. Thinking about it, he quickly shook his head: “Oh, no, no. I just think we are doing it too much. It would be better if we did it less frequently.”
Raising his eyebrows in question, Gu Yu asked: “Six times a week is too much? I didn’t ask you to have sex three or four times a day to be considerate of you. I want do it more because I like you. Can’t you understand?”
Zhang Siyi was shocked. Three or four times a day! It turned out that Gu Yu hadn’t reached his peak!
He was so scared he stammered: “Y, you weren’t like this before.”
Gu Yu: “Why not? Before, I masturbated to you every day.”
Zhang Siyi felt dumb. He couldn’t comprehend what was being said. As he recalls, during the truth or dare game they played last year, Gu Yu said something different. He asked: “But when we first met, you were quite restrained.”
Gu Yu: “That is because I didn’t want you to dislike me. You used to only look at girls. Suddenly, you would have sex with men? If you had any aversion, it would be difficult to reverse your mentally. But I think you are adapting very well now. Every time, you quickly become passionate. Just the other day, you were so soft, I was able to directly in……”
Embarrassed, Zhang Siyi interrupted: “Shut up! Don’t say it!”
Gu Yu smiled and said: “What is there to be embarrassed about? Get used to it.”
Zhang Siyi: “……”
In the few months since the start of their relationship, Gu Yu wasn’t only just retraining himself. He was keenly observing Zhang Siyi in order to grasp Zhang Siyi’s personality. He wanted to understand what made him angry and what made him happy. Not only did Gu Yu want to understand Zhang Siyi’s mental condition, he wanted to discover all of Zhang Siyi’s sensitive parts on his body.
Calculating Zhang Siyi every reaction, Gu Yu pushed him incrementally, testing his bottom line. Therefore, Zhang Siyi’s protest has no chance of winning from the beginning. But he still didn’t give up and continued to protest: “I feel very tired in the afternoon at work. Sometimes, I have a backache.”
Gu Yu: “That’s your physical strength. You should exercise and strengthen your core. How can you be so tired when I am the one doing all the work? I’m not tired at all.”
Zhang Siyi: “…..”
“You used to toss and turn all night. Now, your quality of sleep is so much better.” Gu Yu pinched his smooth face: “Look at you, no more acne.”
Zhang Siyi: “…………”
Gu Yu gently patted his cheek and said: “Rest assured, you might think you can’t bear it, but I understand you perfectly and know your limits.”
Indignant, Zhang stared at him. – You know nothing!
After dismissing Zhang Siyi accusation, Gu Yu leaned forward to continue his ‘homework.’ Panicked, Zhang Siyi tried to push him: “You…. What are you doing? We are having a discussion in the ways of adult men.”
Laughing, Gu Yu smiled and overwhelmed him: “Let me tell you what adult men do.”
Zhang Siyi: “No, no. I’m protesting! ….resisting…. aah…. aah….”
The sweet night life kicked off and Zhang Siyi’s rebellion failed.
Even though Gu Yu is precisely the one who made sure Zhang Siyi couldn’t get his way, Zhang Siyi didn’t feel bothered by it. Not matter how much GU Yu bullied him, Zhang Siyi loved him. In fact, Zhang Siyi doesn’t honestly care because he gained pure happiness from Gu Yu’s attention.
Unlike their nightly escapades, during the day, their relationship took on the illusion of a 180-degree turn. Since their feelings and desires were fully vented at night, there relationship was very restrained during working hours and thus, they were able to maintain a proper distance.
Even at work, due to his deep responsibility of love, Gu Yu’s demands on Zhang Siyi were harsher than ever for two reasons. One, as explained to Zhang Siyi when they first started their relationship and two, the incident with Lu Qiao during their trip. It served as a warning and let Gu Yu realize he couldn’t act rashly.
Although Zhang Siyi knows the truth and can understand that his approach can protect him from criticism, for such a clear division of treatment from night to day, occasionally, Zhang Siyi really hated it.