助理建筑师 羲和清零 168

Assistant Architect by Xi He Qing Ling

Chapter 168: Doctrine

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Lu Qiao took the cap from Gu Yu’s hand. When he raised his eyes, he saw Gu Yu’s long eyelashes, straight nose, and chiseled jawline and thought that his beautiful features matched his generous and tolerant personality.  Under the influence of Gu Yu’s charm, Lu Qiao slowly calmed down and surrendered his fears.

….. What about being gay?  But you can’t ignore the fact that Gu Yu is an excellent boss and looks out for his subordinates…… And what about Zhang Siyi? Maybe they are the same…

Like he had been living in a dark fog all along, Lu Qiao suddenly felt a ray of brightness pierce his doubt. As a myriad of light beams shined through, the heavy fog was lifted from his heart.

Zhang Siyi had been waiting upstairs for half about an hour before Gu Yu and Lu Qiao came back. Face to face, both Lu Qiao and Zhang Siyi felt embarrassed.

Gu Yu abrupt question mitigated any awkwardness: “Where is Tao Fei?”

Zhang Siyi pointed inside the room and softly said: “He was already asleep when I came back. Since he was snoring, he probably drank too much.”

Gu Yu looked inside briefly and saw a disheveled Tao Fei sprawled out in the middle of the room with his mouth wide open.

Fortunately, the room is very large and has plenty of space for them to layout the futons. However, how will they arrange their positions when there is a homophobic person in the room? Will Zhang Siyi sleep next to Gu Yu or do they sleep separately on either side of Tao Fei?

While Zhang Siyi was contemplating their sleeping arrangements, Lu Qiao had already made the decision for him as he laid out his futon a little bit away from Tao Fei, leaving the other half of the room for both Gu Yu and Zhang Siyi to occupy.

After unfolding the futon and forgoing a shower, Lu Qiao wrapped himself up under the covers and brought his knees up into a ball.

Zhang Siyi felt a little embarrassed and quietly followed Gu Yu to the bathroom and asked, “What did you talk about?”

Squeezing a blob of toothpaste out of the tube and putting it onto his toothbrush, Gu Yu said: “It’s too late now. I’ll tell you tomorrow.”

Depressed, Zhang Siyi brushed his teeth quietly. Because of Lu Qiao, his good mood was gone! So annoying!

After they finished washing, they went to layout their futons. Although they were side by side, they dare not do anything in Lu Qiao presence.

Zhang Siyi had a dreamless night. When he woke up the next day, he noticed Tao Fei and Lu Qiao still asleep on the other side of the room, but Gu Yu’s futon was neatly folded away.

In order to find out where he was, Zhang Siyi got out of bed and called Gu Yu. He was out for a morning run. In haste, Zhang Siyi left the inn and went to look for him. He was a few hundred meters away from the inn.

When Zhang Siyi spotted Gu Yu in the distance, he was walking calmly with a towel around his neck. It seems, Gu Yu had completed his run already.

Zhang Siyi jogged a few hundred meters to meet him. When he caught up to Gu Yu, he grasped both knees, panting.

Gu Yu grabbed the towel and wiped the fine sweat from Zhang Siyi face then asked: “Why are you up so early? Can’t sleep?”

Zhang Siyi: “What about you? How can you go missing so early in the morning!”

Being that there was a treadmill at home, Zhang Siyi was very aware of Gu Yu’s exercise routine. Every morning and evening, Gu Yu spent twenty to thirty minutes using the machine. Even though they were away from home touring Japan, Zhang Siyi felt that they have been getting enough exercise because they were walking around all day, every day. He did not understand why Gu Yu felt the need to exercise even more.

Gu Yu gazed at him and provocatively said: “I needed an outlet for excess energy.” His suggestive demeanor let Zhang Siyi grasp the situation. Staring into his eyes, Gu Yu squinted at him: “It’s like I have a disease.”

Yes. Recently, Gu Yu felt like his impulse to express his love for Zhang Siyi grew every day. Like this morning when he woke up. He opened his eyes to the site of Zhang Siyi sleeping close to him wrapped in his arms. Unknowingly, during the night they had cuddled together.

Simply by watching Zhang Siyi’s sleeping face, the desire he felt was overwhelming. His raging hardon demanded attention. He wanted to ravish him. If he hadn’t left to vent some energy, Gu Yu was afraid he would continue to make overly affectionate actions towards Zhang Siyi. Even more terrifying, these behaviors were completely unconscious.

As Tao Fei said, the atmosphere of love between them was too strong.

The conversation with Lu Qiao last night made Gu Yu reflect on his recent actions. Before, he indulged himself with love and wasn’t paying attention to any consequences. Lu Qiao reminded him that he and Zhang Siyi weren’t the only two people in the world and with so many eyes watching him, he must restrain himself.

At seven o’clock in the morning, it was early. On the way back to the inn, Gu Yu bought two bottles of hot milk from the roadside stall. Walking side by side, the two of them drank the milk while chatting about the matter between Lu Qiao and them.

Zhang Siyi: “So he hates me just because we’re gay?”

Gu Yu: “No, the key element is that he thinks you are better than him.”

Zhang Siyi wondered: “I don’t think I’m all that great. There are so many other people out there who are better than me so why is his hatred directed at me?”

Gu Yu smiled and said: “Let me tell you a story.”

Zhang Siyi: “What kind of story?”

Gu Yu: “It’s not a good memory. At the time I was entering university, I had a classmate. I won’t say his name so, let’s call him BB.”

….Ah! a story of Gu Yu personal experience….  Zhang Siyi immediately listened attentively.

Gu Yu continued: “Although BB family conditions were better, similar to Lu Qiao, BB was also from a small town. Since he was the only one from his town admitted to Big T, he had quite a large ego. At school, he didn’t have many friends. Even though I was popular at school, every time he saw me, there was hostility written all over his face. The situation once puzzled me because I don’t know what I did to cause him to hate me so much. I only understood that he was a very arrogant person.”

Zhang Siyi anxiously asked: “Did he do anything to hurt you?”

Gu Yu shook his head: “Nothing directed at me personally, but behind my back he often slandered me.”

Clenching his fist, Zhang Siyi angrily said: “That kind of person is so annoying ah!”

Gu Yu smiled: “Since I never cared about what he said, his words had no effect.”

Wide eyed, Zhang Siyi stared: “But he denigrated you behind your back! Didn’t you hate him?”

Gu Yu: “My classmates and teachers all know what kind of person I am. His slandering never influenced others. Besides, it takes a lot of effort to actually hate someone. Since I was always busy with my school work, I didn’t have the energy to deal with him. It was just too much of a bother.”

Zhang Siyi: “…”

Gu Yu: “Let me explain something…… In fact, there are quite a few people who act like BB did. At least, when a person can put his feelings on his face, it isn’t so scary. More concerning, are those people who hide knives behind their friendly smiles.”

Zhang Siyi felt a shiver go down his back. He asked: “Do you know why he was like that?”

Gu Yu: “I was also very puzzled about it. It wasn’t until later when I talked to my classmate, a senior sister, that I started to understand. She told me that being ‘too good’ is also ‘bad’ because people are competitive animals. Engrained in our DNA is survival and the most fit live. When one person is better than another by a small margin, their prehistoric instincts takes over and the two would clash.”

Zhang Siyi frowned slightly: “What should I do?”

Gu Yu: “I’ll summarize two ways to resolve this contradiction. First, let oneself become stronger. When you become greater than someone else by a larger degree, then the sense of competition is lost. Second, The Doctrine of the Mean ** in Chinese thought: One can avoid excessive injury when one remains low-key.

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T/N: Doctrine of the Mean: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doctrine_of_the_Mean

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