助理建筑师 羲和清零 105 [小剧场] 005

Assistant Architect by Xi He Qing Ling

Chapter 105 extra: [Small Theater] 005: First Love Article – Gu Yu

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Gu Yu doesn’t know when it happened, but now, he habitually checked up on Zhang Siyi social media page every night at bed time. Since Zhang Siyi posted a ’closed’ status, he was not expecting any news on Zhang Siyi’s home page. Gu Yu was very surprised to see the new post:

“Heartless Han, don’t worry! I will take good care of your son! I I’ll be waiting for your return!” [Heart]  

Seeing such a note, Gu Yu suddenly sat stiff. With the two photos and the caption, does it really not lead to misunderstandings?

Although Zhang Siyi has personally denied any type of intimate relationship with Fu Xinhui, Gu Yu couldn’t help but feel jealous.

In Zhang Siyi mind, will Gu Yu only have a professional relationship as his Boss?

Maybe Zhang Siyi used his photo simply because of the artistry of the photograph and not his image?

…… Am I being too full of it?

It was only when Zhang Siyi posted another message, “We are just pure friends! Brotherly love! Don’t misunderstand!!!” did Gu Yu feel relieved. At the same time, he also felt annoyed because of how much his mood could be swayed by Zhang Siyi words. He impulsively texted Zhang Siyi back.

Gu Yu: “If you don’t want others to misunderstand then you should only send the information for him to see.”

Afterwards, he felt that his message revealed too much of his inner turmoil so he quickly followed up with another message to deflect Zhang Siyi attention.

It wasn’t until thirty minutes later that Zhang Siyi messaged back.

Zhang Siyi: “I overlooked my closed status because my best friend is leaving.”

Gu Yu: “Where is he going?”

Zhang Siyi: “He’s going abroad.”

With his heart pounding in his chest, Gu Yu’s replied: “So, what are your plans? Are you ready to move?”

Zhang Siyi: “I have until the end of the month.”

Gu Yu: “Are you going to find a roommate?”

Unlike his usual self, Gu Yu impulsively offered: “If you don’t mind, mo……”

As he was typing his message, Zhang Siyi sent another message, interrupting him: “Since I have the dog, I am not sure if I will be able to find a roommate so I’ll probably just find an apartment for myself.”

Looking at Zhang Siyi’s text, feeling embarrassed, Gu Yu deleted his half-typed message.

After a long time, he sighed. Although he was in a bad mood, he held onto a glimmer of hope: “If there are any difficulties, you can tell me.”

If Zhang Siyi really likes him, he shouldn’t be able to refuse his help, right?

However, in the next few days, Zhang Siyi did not ask for him at all. Not only that, Zhang Siyi was working hard everyday independently. Not only was he drawing diligently without the need of outside help, he was also looking for a place to live.

Gu Yu was always paying attention to him. Witnessing his behavior, the last few days made him feel like perhaps, being liked was all just in his head.

– Even at times like this, Zhang Siyi doesn’t need me.

    ……

Gu Yu wanted to invite Zhang Siyi out to lunch so he could ask him about his current situation, but he was never at his desk. At one point, he used the internal communication software to send him a message. He was trying to arrange a time when he and Tao Fei could get together to chat, but Zhang Siyi said: “I will be out looking for an apartment.”

Once, twice, three times. Gu Yu tried, but then gave up.

When he asked Zhang Siyi about his work progress, he would always give a perfunctorily curt response: “Still drawing.” He understood that Zhang Siyi was very busy looking for a house, so perhaps there wasn’t much progress with his work and since there wasn’t a rush, he didn’t press Zhang Siyi further.

After hearing from Secretary Wang in the morning about the project’s cancelation, Gu Yu called Zhang Siyi into his office with a heavy heart.

To his surprise, Zhang Siyi actually finished all of the blueprints with the help of Du Rui.

Gu Yu was very angry: “You have drawn to this point? Why didn’t you show it to me before?”

He cannot understand why Zhang Siyi didn’t ask for his help.

…… Why does he want to do everything alone?

…… Do I mean nothing?

Although he doesn’t like to mix his personal business with work, Gu Yu couldn’t help but directly ask: “Have you been avoiding me lately?”

Gu Yu doesn’t understand what has made Zhang Siyi act like this.

Could it be that Zhang Siyi reacted to his liking for the same sex and felt repulsed, so he deliberately kept his distance?

When people lose hope, they are prone to desperate thoughts and Gu Yu is no exception.

He took a deep breath to help calm himself down. First, he announced the suspension of the project to Zhang Siyi. Although he was just as uncomfortable at the moment as Zhang Siyi was, Gu Yu choose to comfort him first. When he heard Zhang Siyi say he wanted to be alone, Gu Yu let him go home to rest.

…… I was worried about him. At night I called Zhang Siyi, but I couldn’t get through.

…… I sent chat messages and not one reply.

Gu Yu felt shocked when he learned Zhang Siyi hadn’t shown up all morning. Gu Yu felt like he went into a dark labyrinth, meandering aimlessly without an exit in sight.

Spring didn’t come.

Winter came first.

Gu Yu had to go find Zhang Siyi. Showing up at his door, he wouldn’t leave until he had the chance to talk to Zhang Siyi openly. No matter what the answer was, Gu Yu couldn’t continue to be patient.

However, he didn’t expect Zhang Siyi to actually say he would quit.

At that moment, Gu Yu completely lost all his composure and wit. Negative feelings of frustration, disappointment, and anger welled up inside, but the most frightening feeling, was the panic he felt at the idea he was going to lose him.

… “Are you serious?” When he heard his trembling voice, he didn’t want to reveal how fragile he really was. His world was about to collapse. Instead, Gu Yu used all of the negative energy he had inside to prop himself up then he lashed out.

It turns out that Zhang Siyi’s so-called love is so vulnerable.

Yes. As Gu Yu likes Zhang Siyi, he wants Zhang Siyi’s attention, but in a flash, Gu Yu has become nothing to Zhang Siyi but a passer-by.

Gu Yu paused and lowered his voice: “You are very disappointing.”

[End of 005]

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11 Comments

  1. I like these bits where we get the viewpoint of Gu Yu. It really shows how much people can get in their own minds and misunderstand things by dwelling too long there instead of just communicating. I guess people are afraid of what they will find out if they do, but it just prolongs the misery. I know better and yet I do that, too, so these chapters hit home. I also thought this line was interesting: “When people lose hope, they are prone to desperate thoughts and Gu Yu is no exception.” Even seemingly calm/icy people are human!

    Liked by 13 people

  2. Gu Yu should just admit his feeling tbh.. ZSY is a person with low self esteem.. despite he love Gu Yu I doubt he will actively pursue him tho

    Like

    1. That’s all fair but I do still feel for Gu Yu. He’s in a weird position as ZS boss, and he thinks he is straight, and he has zero relationship experience and a low EQ. he’s doing the best he can… although he does drive me a bit mad…

      Liked by 9 people

    2. Gu Yu is having the same inner conflicts as ZYS. Isn’t it shown in this chapter? He has suspicions but wanted to make sure first if the other really liked him before making a move. Because confessing to someone of the same sex isn’t the same as confessing to the opposite sex. Once you confess it means your sexual orientation would be outed too. So before you do that, it needs both mental and emotional preparation. Understand both parties, bah. Homosexual romantic relationships are always 2x difficult than heterosexual’s. It is normal that they sometimes become coward too.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I thought it was weird how Gu yu would suddenly stick so much to the new guy even after having practical confirmation of ZSY’s feelings for him, so it turns out he was trying to arrange a meeting with the three of them… this extras goes to show the dangers of unreliable narrators, we as readers can also get too wrapped into a character’s viewpoing and misunderstandings and fail to see the bigger picture, both MC and ML have a tendency to overthink by themselves instead of communicating properly, I hope they can work on that after getting together later

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  4. Gu Yu better apologize to Zhang Siyi for lashing out on him when Siyi was literally in the middle of a life crisis (best friend leaving, financial problems, job insecurity, realization of his bisexuality). His response to Siyi breaking down was literally “What about ME?”

    Yeah, I get that Gu Yu’s no exception to faults, but it’s been 105 chapters of him correcting Siyi 99% of the time and making Siyi feel guilty for everything 😒😒😒

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